We just got back from a week long cruise to some Caribbean locales. At times it was quite fun and relaxing, and at other times it was quite exhausting trying to sleep in the same room as a congested 7 month old! So at times it felt relaxing, and at other times like a youth retreat. But all-in-all, we had a blast and are quite thankful for a generous family providing us with a wonderful experience.

Outside of dancing in the New Year (well as much as one could with a sleepy 7 month-old, till about 10:30 pm), two experiences really stood out.

1.) Belize City. This was my 5th time coming to Belize, with the previous 4 coming from mission trips. We took a horse and carriage ride through the city. The driver was intent on us seeing the rough parts, probably so we would feel bad for him and tip him more-he also told us that New Years Day was his birthday and that he needed money to go to the horse races.
But the city was not pretty. At all. We rode through Belizean ghetto and were welcomed by the sarcastic sounds of “Welcome to beautiful Belize…”

I found it quite ironic that many people were exiting the ship in hopes of seeing a lovely landscape. Instead many found slums and extreme poverty. For me it was strangely refreshing, coming back to the reality of the ugly effects of sin and concomitant need for Jesus in a region surrounded by such beauty in islands only 10-15 miles away. I still love Belize even though it isn’t beautiful by any stretch of the word. But they do speak English!

2.) Roatan. While this island of Honduras has its share of poverty and drugs, it is very Christianized and very beautiful and mountainous. One lady we met on the beach-who happened to be reading The Shack because a pastor gave it to her due to the loss of a daughter, took quite seriously the call to minister to orphans. She left Canada to live and work with HIV infected children. Because she was a resident, she was able to adopt several kids. You can see the picture of Connar on the beach playing with some whom we presumed were HIV positive, although I hope I’m wrong. He brought a lot of joy to these kids and these kids brought a lot of joy to him. I hope that Amy and I can continue to put him in situations where he can minister in some way to literal and figurative widows and orphans. That way, it will just be a normal part of his daily Christian life.

I can’t say that I’ve ever really stuck with a New Year’s resolution. I seldom make them, and couldn’t tell you the last time I made one and even what it was. Now I know that you’re not supposed to make resolutions that you don’t have control over like “catch more fish.”

I think such resolutions could probably introduce some added discipline in my/our lives. And if attempted in light of, and motivated throughout by God’s grace, could be extremely beneficial. Maybe one or two resolutions will hit me on the cruise this week. Please feel free to comment with your best or worse New Year’s resolutions.

Anyhow, here’s a list of resolutions by Jonathon Edwards. I only listed twenty of his. but there are plenty more that you can check out here.

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’ s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and how great soever.

2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new contrivance and invention to promote the aforementioned things.

3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.

4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.

5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.

8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God. July 30.

9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.

10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.

11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances do not hinder.

12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.

13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.

14. Resolved, never to do any thing out of revenge.

15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger towards irrational beings.

16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.

17. Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.

18. Resolved, to live so, at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.

19. Resolved, never to do any thing, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.

20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance, in eating and drinking.

One of the many things I love about celebrating Advent is that you are celebrating for an entire month. Ideally by celebrating Advent, you’re longing not for the day of Christmas to come, but for the Christ of Christmas to come-and reflect on how much He’s already done and is doing in the world. As a result, when the day of Christmas comes and goes, you neither feel let down (if the day was bad) or saddened (if it as too short). Ours was just right.

But I still have two problems.

1.) Taking down the Christmas tree. We’re going on vacation for a week and plan on taking down the Christmas tree after we get back. And then the lights after that. What activity is more anti-climactic than removing Xmas decorations?

2.) What to do with the music? I’ve been listening to Xmas music for a month. But as soon as Xmas day comes, I feel weird listening to the same carols. Shouldn’t there be “day-after-Christmas” type music?

Maybe I should keep celebrating Advent and do the few devotions Amy and I missed until our decorations are completely down. Maybe then the Xmas music wouldn’t be too un-Christmassy in early January? Or maybe I could go Greek Orthodox, celebrate Epiphany, and dive into the waters in Tarpon Springs in hopes of retrieving a cross. But that’s a bit too similar to vying for the garter at a wedding. And I’m not Greek.

Two Sundays ago, when it was warm in Florida but nowhere else in the U.S., Patriots receiver Wes Welker caught a touchdown pass in snowy Foxboro. After crossing the end zone, Welker did something a bit creative. He made a “snow angel.”

And for this non-taunting gesture he was fined 10,000 dollars by the N.F.L. On the same day, New York Jets defensive tackle Shaun Ellis hit a Seattle fan with a snowball as he and teammates were walking off the field. He was fine 10,000 dollars.

Good to see the punishment for making a snow angel and throwing a snowball is the same amount. Both are equally heinous, eh? Sure….Fortunately we can put our trust in a better and more just judge.

I wonder at what age kids become cognizant that a certain day is special. I really do. Because Connar woke up today in a more-than-crazy mood. He screamed joyfully just about as soon as we came to fetch him from the crib, like he knew something was happening today. Amy couldn’t even fully feed him this morning because he was so excited. So I had to hit up the sweet potatoes for him. He seems to know that today is Christmas. This picture was taken by Amy on Christmas Eve, so he was probably dreaming of proverbial sugar plumbs or whatever last night. Who knows? He won’t be able to remember to tell me if my conjecture was a bit over the top, so I’ll just dream as well.

I’ve noticed some noises with my Mazda the last few days. So I took it in to Shepherd Tires here in Bradenton. After about 15 minutes of observation, they came back with a fair verdict: the rear brake pads needed replacing. Looks like I’ll be out 130 dollars plus tax. Could be a lot worse I guess. Could be double that if all four needed replacing.

But there are two main reasons why I’ve taken the 130 dollar-plus-tax hit quite well, or at least quite stoically. And one reason kind of points me to the next.

The first is that I know nothing about fixing cars. Nothing. So don’t have advice for them and I really can’t disagree with whatever they say.

The second reason is that I trust the Shepherd Tires folk. They could have told me that all four needed replacing. I would have no way of knowing the truth. But since they have a great reputation, and have saved me money before, I fully accept their verdict. I believe what they say is exactly what my car needs. It is for the overall good of the car-though it kind of hurts on the front end of things.

It’s a shame I often put more trust in Shepherd tires, than the Shepherd born in Bethlehem, “who will shepherd my people Israel. (Micah 5:2/Matthew 2:6).” I know far less about how to run the world, much less my life-though at times I don’t agree with that statement. And God has proven Himself, not just in the scriptures but in my life, far more trustworthy and powerful. Yet unlike coming to Shepherd Tires, I trust the true Shepherd far less. Doesn’t make sense, does it?

I like Xmas cards, though I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with them. If your kids are cute enough (like the Thomas girls), and if we have enough space on our fridge, they adorn our lovely Frigidaire. But if neither of those are the case, they get tossed immediately. I mean what else is one supposed to do with them?

I’m a bit more ambivalent with Xmas letters, you know the kind of letters that give you a SportsCenter highlight version of the year in review. Yesterday Amy and I received a Xmas letter from a woman in our church who pointed us to Jesus and our need for Him to return. When we finished it (so it was obviously short), we were both greatly encouraged and challenged. Amy and I are thankful for some of the elderly people in our lives who have refused to sit back and waste their health; instead they bless the socks off everyone who comes in their path.

And I really like Xmas prayer letters from missionaries or other ministries like RUF. I like to know what to pray for. Otherwise I won’t do it. Seriously.

But what I really don’t like is the standard Xmas letter that tells everyone how great your family is doing, how many tricks your dog can do, how wonderfully sweet the kids are, and how well they are doing in sports and school. We both know that you’re either lying or you’re oblivious to reality and the affects of sin on the human heart (I don’t care how young-we’ve already seen how selfish Connar is after he grabbed a toy away from a girl in the nursery!)

I’ll tell you what kind of letter I really want to hear. I want to hear how poorly you’ve done as a parent. How you’ve yelled at your kids too many times, how you drive them crazy, how you’ve forgotten to pray for them, how you’ve disappointed them and let them down (because as much as you’d like to be-you’re not Jesus).

I want to hear how they’ve failed to love you, how they’ve hurt you, how they’ve disappointed you and let you down (because they have often become your idol-and they are not Jesus either).

But please don’t stop there. Then I want to hear how Jesus’ cross is so big not only in your life, but your family’s life. That you know you’re all forgiven despite the mess you and your kids have made. That you know Jesus loves your kids more than you do, and that He will be faithful even when you are faithless (II Tim 2). That you know He will continue his work of conforming you to His image and will not stop until He completes it. That he promises a new record, a new heart, and one day a new body and new world.

I don’t really get many Xmas letters at all. My reflections are more from letters I’ve read and the sappy sentiment from which they are sent. But if I had my vote, this is the kind of letter I want to read, because then I will know that Jesus is truly at work.

Please understand that I’m not blasting people who don’t write letters such as these. I’ve never actually seen one to tell you the truth. The question I struggle with now, even as I write this, “Will I be able to write such a letter in a few years when Connar, Amy, and I disappoint and hurt each other?” I hope I believe in the Cross enough to do so. I guess you’ll just have to check your mailbox in December of 2010 to find out.

I found this Christmas reflection from U2 lead singer Bono on another blog. Very poetic and thoughtful.

This reflection on Christmas occurred after Bono had just returned home, to Dublin, from a long tour with U2. On Christmas Eve Bono went to the famous St. Patrick’s Cathedral, where Jonathan Swift was dean. Apparently he was given a really poor seat, one obstructed by a pillar, making it even more difficult for him to keep his eyes open…but it was there that Christmas story struck him like never before. He writes:

“The idea that God, if there is a force of Logic and Love in the universe, that it would seek to explain itself is amazing enough. That it would seek to explain itself and describe itself by becoming a child born in straw poverty, in sh&$ and straw…a child… I just thought: “Wow!” Just the poetry … Unknowable love, unknowable power, describes itself as the most vulnerable. There it was. I was sitting there, and it’s not that it hadn’t struck me before, but tears came streaming down my face, and I saw the genius of this, utter genius of picking a particular point in time and deciding to turn on this.”

Excerpt taken from Bono: in conversation (New York: Riverhead Books, 2005), 124-5.

One thing that we regularly pray for Connar is that he would be a blessing to others. Even in a small way, we hope that this little boy would be used by God. On Tuesday, God really answered such a prayer. Amy took him to school to visit a fellow teacher. Mr. Luther, the janitor who became close to Amy over the last few years, ran into the dynamic duo.

Even though no one knew where his hands had been (probably better not to think about it), he reached out to grab Connar. Amy simply let him. He held Connar up and said, “Thank you Jesus,” several times. He was near tears. It made his day. It made mine too.

We prayed tonight that his life would be a blessing to others for a long time coming-particularly when he’s able to point folks to the “lovely source of true delight” and source of all blessings. But we’re happy even now that God has given him a head start.

He’ll be showcasing his cuteness when we go caroling to an area nursing home this Sunday. Fortunately, he’ll not be alone as Connar’s favorite little ladies, the Thomas girls, will be joining forces.

If you’ve read my brief article for the Bradenton Herald, you’ll see why I think that turning your lights on at night can be a great example of love. I mean, once you’re inside your house, you don’t get to enjoy them anymore. In fact, that’s often the main reason (not the only reason as you’ll see) I go and turn my lights on some times. However, last night, self preservation (I didn’t want to get shocked in the rain) kept me from “loving my neighbors.“

But while turning on your Christmas lights may dip into the essence of love (finding delight in the delight of another, even in your own sacrifice), it by no means reflects pure love. For instance, putting up Xmas lights can be a way to “out do” your neighbors. One episode of Home Improvement delved into Tim “the Tool Man” Taylor’s obsession to have better lights and arrangement than a particular neighbor. They battled it out year after year. That may be hyperbole, but that episode certainly reflects the competitive attitudes existing within men’s hearts.

Another motivation for putting up Xmas lights is self protection. One could simply put up lights because they feel obligated, for everyone else is doing it and they don’t want others to look down upon them. They may not care at all about blessing others; they simply don’t want to look like a scrooge. So in this case, the motives would not be 100% pure either.

Sometimes I want to bless others, sometimes I turn my lights on simply because I don’t want others to say or think, “Why doesn’t that joker have his lights on? What’s his deal? Is he playing the “economy” card?” Often those two motivations collide within my heart.

Such is the case with all things we do. That doesn’t mean we become inactive. Our motives are never 100% pure, and so everything we do has to be offered up in faith to God. Faith not in the action, nor the motivation, but faith in Christ-the one who perfectly loved his neighbors on our behalf. So we can love, even with a mixed heart, because the object of our faith is what makes the action “good.”