I listened to a few very informative and challenging lectures during my study leave week. Due to the fact that I drove to Riverview twice, and Lakeland once, I had such time.

Anyhow, here is one of the lectures I would like to commend to you. The president of Exodus International (a ministry assisting homosexuals attempting to depart from the active gay lifestyle) spoke before Central Florida Presbytery. They get good speakers at that presbytery. We don’t get any speakers down in our parts.

I realize the word “lecture” means something less to many than it does to me. After all, I don’t have any music on my Ipod: only lectures and sermons. However I think this lecture/testimony (its more of the latter) and following Q and A session may be helpful in understanding more about the homosexual community. And of course that is one in which we know very little about-so anything more is good.

The president, who is now married with kids, openly discusses his unique struggle and story, as well as those of his dear friends. One main point in which he challenged the church was to aspire more to deep fellowship. Unless the fellowship the church offers is better than the gay bars, how can we expect gay folks to come? While what we display in the church IS POTENTIALLY better in many cases, many of us don’t embrace the freedom, honesty, grace, and love centered around Christ. And so our fellowship boils down to eating food, surface friendships, being too scared to share struggles and doubts, never challenging others when they are clearly in the wrong, and never open to challenge.

How can we expect gay folks to leave gay bars when what we have isn’t a whole lot different than what they already have? That was his challenge to the church and one that certainly convicts me and my shallow conversations and my fear to confess sins/struggles to others.

Its not what you say but how you say it. Heard that one before? I’ve heard it plenty of times. El Guapo (from The Three Amigos) might say I’ve heard it a plethora of times. He would probably be correct.

Every so often Amy gets concerned over my ‘tone.’ Unfortunately she’s not the only one to question my tone when I’m disagreeing or debating. Sometimes I’m aware of it, and the tone comes from a sense of anger or defense. At other times, the tone may sound harsh, and not only will I be unaware of the tone, but the heart behind the tone will NOT be defensive or malicious.

Since sometimes I’m unaware of the tone myself, it would be helpful to have it recorded some time so I can hear it. I don’t propose having someone follow me around with a video camera like Paris Hilton. That would be far too incriminating.
However the other day, I was caught on tape, so to speak. I left something at home, as I usually do before church one Sunday. So I ‘kindly’ requested through the answering machine that Amy pick up the phone ASAP. She did eventually.

She said my tone was back, and I of course denied it. I didn’t really have any anger in my heart, so I assumed she was imagining this tone. Well it was on our answering machine, and there could be no denying it. Tone was quite present.

I didn’t feel ‘tonal,’ but I certainly sounded tonal. One more lesson to teach me that its more than what you say, “Its how you say it.” Supposedly communication is 80 % non verbal (I’ve heard different numbers, all of which seem too high). If that’s the case, the remaining 20 % is probably 90% tonal, and 10% content.

We just got back from our elder retreat. In case you’re not Presbyterian, I’m not referring to a weekend get away with the numerous 55 and up communities that dot our lovely landscape down in Florida. Elders are those who have been elected by the congregation to oversee the flock.

5 of us got away, because the 6th is somewhere on the Appalachian Trail. We had a good time to reflect upon the goals of an elder, the way we live out the goals, and how we live them out (our attitude and disposition). Quite helpful, though I’m ready for a break since I have to preach and get some more coffeehouse stuff done.

Anyway, we found refuge at an Episcopalian retreat center in Ellenton/Parrish (I forget which one), as did a number of other like and unlike minded folks. There was everything from a theosophist group (I’m going to be googling that one soon) to Woodland Community Church’s Men’s “Wild at Heart follow-up retreat.” It was kind of funny because they had a HUGE African-American dude as their keynote speaker. Probably a different cat than Eldredge.

Aside from the obvious departure from orthodoxy of the theosophist group (I did read some notes on their wall like “inner light” and stuff like that before folks started staring), there were a number of other evangelical groups pressing on toward the prize. Its always good to be reminded that my or your particular stream of Christianity makes up only a part of the Church as a whole. Otherwise we become a bit too myopic, and eventually frustrated-as though its only US who Jesus is using to build His Kingdom.

I love to work out. I really do. But lately I’ve been hard pressed even to do the bench press (my favorite exercise). Why? I’ve fallen out of the routine. So today, because I have tons of stuff to do, I’m probably not going to make it to the gym. Tomorrow, I have tons of stuff to do, including finalizing my sermon for Sunday, so I might not make it then. And next week, guess what? Tons of stuff. There’s always tons of stuff to do and I don’t even have kids, yet. I’m not complaining how busy I am, by the way. I have a point, I think.

My lax gym attendance began when I took a week off for Amy’s spring break/vacation to St. Augustine. From that point on, it has been harder to get back into it.

While routine simply for the sake of routine kills intimacy and delight, skipping that routine can really make it extremely hard for one to ever get back to doing what you love. For the last 6 years or so, the only reason I took time off from working out was due to either shoulder or back injury. That’s it. I couldn’t fathom how people could just stop going altogether.

But now I see. They were always busy, but working out was simply part of their busy schedule.
They skipped once, they skipped twice, and so on and so forth. Each time they skipped, it became easier to skip.

I think the same thing goes for any spiritual discipline. Once I get out of reading God’s Word, its hard to get back into the pattern. I assume the same thing goes for people who stop going to church; they get out of the routine, and the more they don’t go, the easier it becomes to not go in the future.

The weird thing is that I love working out when I get to the gym. Like church, I love seeing people there and find great joy in it. And I forfeit that joy by NOT GOING. So in order to get that joy and delight back (our highest motivation), I have to put important activities ‘on my calendar.’ While we may find it hard at first to put these disciplines back on our calendars, we are simply, though intentionally, exposing ourselves to Jesus: “thy lovely source of true delight.” When we are confronted with continuing schedules devoid of corporate worship, private devotion, family prayer, time with spouse, let us be motivated by the joy that comes WHEN we get there instead of passively waiting for it to come to us.

Last night we had our penultimate prepared childbirth class. While it has been a pain-in-the-butt to get out to Lakewood Ranch every Tuesday night, I would say the trek has also been well worth it. All four of the couples are quite different from each other, but we all share a common bond. We’re all going through the same thing.

Our common experience has created a certain level of fellowship. Nothing creates fellowship with others quite like suffering, and there has been plenty of that for some of the ladies (and soon will be for all parties involved). In Seminary, I became fairly close with a lad who had back problems. And over the years, I’ve developed a special connection with those who have anxiety/depression, those with kidney stones, gastro-intestinal stuff because I’ve had/still have some of the aforementioned.

Recently I’ve seen this same sense of connection with others as well. Paul reminds us that we share not only in the power of the resurrection (which we like), but also in the fellowship of Jesus’ sufferings (Phil 3). A deeper fellowship, not only with others, but with Jesus, is entered into when we suffer. We have the opportunity of identifying more closely with Jesus, our suffering Savior. In Christianity we have a God who CAN identify with us because he knows first hand what its like. Just an encouragement to draw near to Christ (he already draws near to us) and to others even when we don’t feel like it. Don’t forfeit this deep fellowship.

This past week I took a “study leave.” It’s actually part of my package here at Hope, and am thankful it is (its not given de facto in the PCA-though it should be!). I spent time reading, reflecting, being refreshed, and probably some other ‘r’ words as well.

Part of my study time was to see what some other churches were doing. One church where I know several staff members and elders is Redeemer Pres in Riverview. They have been blessing their community for several years by offering a soccer league called Boyette Sports.

Boyette Sports has become a cheaper option than a regular soccer league (only 65 dollars per child) and the coaches have a devotion with the kids, accompanied by a league wide devotion for all involved. Currently they have 150 kids (now in their 4th year), though they started out with only 50 the first year. All of the coaches are members at Redeemer Pres and have been trained in both soccer and the gospel.

I think perhaps the greatest catch of the league is that everything takes place one day a week. They come at 9 am for practice and devotion and then a game from 10-11 am. Parents like not having their weeknights taken up by practices.

Anyhow, I finally got to witness this ‘operation’ on Saturday, and was greatly encouraged by the church participation in this ministry. But it was also encouraging to see folks embrace a mindset intent on blessing the community. The ministry is simply called Boyette sports (instead of Redeemer Sports), because it is intended to bless the Boyette area community and serve them by offering a cheaper, more time efficient place for families to enjoy a Saturday together.

Ultimately, one dude saw a need (those lacking money/time) in his community and encouraged the church to help meet it. Different churches do different things. We’re doing a coffeehouse/art show again this year in hopes to give both the church and the community a chance to see some creative gifts. In the end, we want to be a church (and individuals) who bless our community. So much so that if we were to disappear, or spontaneously combust (it happened to the Spinal Tap drummer), our communities would seriously miss us. Can we say that about our churches or homes? I think that’s a good question to continuously ask.

I had to get to church a little bit early today to move chairs back into place. Randy was already there, along with his son Collin and another young adult who had anticipated practicing music-not setting up chairs. Collin, as usual, was full of questions this morning.

I was greeted by, “When the Israelites were enslaved, were they victims of war or was it something else?” Then it moved on to more natural stuff like Orca Sharks and the Ice Age-typical 6 year old questions. He really does ask me some good questions; in fact I’ve come to expect good questions from him.

And he didn’t disappoint. While we were setting up the chairs, he asked, “Can you let me know whenever the church needs something done, so I can come up here and help?” Wow.

When I think of faith like a child, I tend to think of someone who simply believes because God says it in His word. But this child’s faith also included participation and connection to the local church. And I think that’s part of child-like faith: a simple connection and desire to serve the church. Not serving out of guilt or to escape problems at home, but out of true desire. Some have this faith, and some don’t. But this is the kind of faith worth praying for. And I need to pray like this because even pastors (who HAVE to serve the church), are to do it not out of compulsion but instead with eagerness (I Peter 5:2). Thanks for the reminder Collin.

Wed afternoon an acquaintance called me up to ask if he could spend the night. That night. He needed to get to a meeting at our church very early. I told him that I would get back with him as soon as I talked with my wife (I’m trying get better at not making decisions without her).

As soon as I talked with Amy, we felt it would be a good use of our baby’s room right now. Just this week I took the bed out of that room, and so I simply put the mattress back on the floor, threw some sheets and pillows on the mattress and went to bed. Since he was arriving at 12 am, I left a key under the mat and then prayed it was him when the door opened at midnight. It was and so everything was fine. A shower and few bowls of cereal later, and we said our goodbye’s. Not really a big deal sacrifice on my part. But it meant a ton to him.

What struck me was one of his comments before he came, “I don’t know you that well (and he didn’t, but since he was a ‘legend’ at RTS-I did know all about him) and feel guilty about asking to stay.” Certainly, at the very least, a Christian brother, ought not feel guilty or even weired when asking to stay for the night.

I think most of us probably would have felt ‘weird’ if not guilty, if put in his same situation (though some of us would have asked a few days earlier). Why is this? Shouldn’t we be so gracious with our homes that people wouldn’t feel weird in asking? That they could approach us with their need? I know there is always a sense of weirdness when we display our dependence upon others, but some of it comes from the idea that a home belongs to ME. Sharing it with others is optional. Having others in it is optional. But its really not optional. We are blessed to bless others. Period.

Some folks at my church have astounded me with their hospitality (among other things like showing mercy to members in need!). Its challenged me greatly and for that I’m grateful. They’ve expressed to the world that their house is really not theirs to hog, but theirs to share. And its theirs to share, because they understand know God is responsible for them having such a home. Its His house, and they are the stewards of the house. All we have is ultimately His.

Things are always easier to share if they aren’t ours, aren’t they? A bag of chips, 6 pack of beer, kayak, money, etc…Well it should be the same way with our homes. And it shouldn’t be weird for renters or many (or some) ‘homeowners’ since the bank owns just as much as we do! When we begin to view our homes as His and not OUR own private sanctuary to ourselves, I think we’ll open them up more to others. I certainly need to think more along these lines, and I so I thought I’d pass it on your way.

As good as our speaker was at the conference, I could have missed all this great stuff if I had let some peripheral stuff he alluded to on Friday night bother me. He of course used the trendy word, “Christ-follower” instead of “Christian,” and had a misunderstanding (in my opinion) on the place of corporate (Sunday church) worship.

Lately I have found it incredibly helpful to learn from others outside our own theological camps without completely embracing questionable or distinctive doctrine. I’ve enjoyed John Stott, but I will not embrace his understanding of Hell (very questionable). I love and have learned from John Piper and Marc Driscoll, but I’ll not abandon my belief in infant baptism (distinctive). I’ve been challenged by Donald Miller’s Searching for God Knows What and Bill Hybell’s Just Walk Across the Room video series, but I’ll not embrace their soteriology (the how of salvation; not reformed-distinctive). Our comm group has really benefited from Hybell’s emulation of Jesus’ methodology of evangelism: being an actual friend to “sinners.”

I love Reformed PCA writers like Tim Keller and Randy Pope, but there’s a number of folks out there who will continue to challenge and encourage me. Yet I doubt I will ever depart from my Presbyterian distinctives. Nevertheless, the body of Christ at large has much to offer, even those who are outside your normal comfort zone. Perhaps even people who use trendy language like “Christ-followers” instead of “Christian.”

Last Friday and Saturday were busy days for me, my wife, and 3 appreciated and very helpful volunteers. We, along with over 12 other churches, had our annual Disciple Now weekend. Just like last year, Stuart Hall came in and delivered some incredibly relevant, humorous, and challenging talks.

The first night Stuart took a page out of “John Piper’s playbook (of course Johnny Pittsburgh as we call him ‘stole’ most of his stuff from Jonathon Edwards)” on having a deep passion for God. We have settled for less than God offers as we are far too easily satisfied (C.S. Lewis, and Jeremiah 2 if you want to get technical). Even our obedience has become duty instead of delight, and very often pastors can lead to that problem. So that hit me in the gut. But in the words of Mellencamp, it “hurt so good.” I needed it.

He concluded the final two sessions addressing the males and females, respectively, respectfully, but truthfully. Really truthfully. Guys were reminded that our specific struggle related to validating ourselves through what we do: am I good enough, do I have what it takes? Clips from movies like 300 and Saving Private Ryan helped illustrate his point. If illustrations are priceless, movie clips are one step better than that.

The ladies were hit the hardest for sure. He challenged them with the fact that women want to hear someone tell them they are beautiful, loved, cherished. And of course he showed clips from the Titanic, The Notebook, and The Wedding Singer.

Ultimately only through Christ are these deep longings met. Yet he reserved the sharpest criticism to young ladies who often ignore the fact they have been bought at a price, and have cheapened themselves in settling for less. Anyone who will look at them (he hit the heart issue behind the way girls often dress) or tell them they look ‘hot’ or will make out with them is who they will settle for. And this is so often the case, isn’t it? How many women settle for losers/deadbeats simply because they fail to grasp that Christ has already displayed their worth before the world?

This post was getting really long, so I’ll continue some more thoughts on it later. However, because of my leaders that I trusted, I was able to miss the talk directed at the guys. Instead I accompanied Amy at the Baby class and saw some disgusting slide shows and I learned how to put a diaper on a baby doll. My first. Seriously.

The church needs leaders who will step up and do the work of ministry. And my leaders did just that: leading group studies, loving on the youth, and having deep conversations with them. It was beautiful to see God’s church at work and how expendable I am! The more expendable I am the better.