While staying with my in-laws (brother/sister-in-laws that is) this weekend, I was greatly blessed by their ministry to their children. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it,” immediately came to mind.

As I was eating breakfast on Saturday morning, their oldest son, a third grader, was praying silently before consuming his victuals. His parents taught him that when the whole family couldn’t eat together, each child had a responsibility to thank the Lord for his food. And I got to see that “training” play itself out. At the time, I had forgotten to say thanks for my food and was reminded by this third grader. Oh, the faith of a child.

Then on Sunday morning I overheard my brother-in-law talk about tithing with his boys.

“Thomas, your allowance is 3 dollars, so that means 30 cents.”

“Ryan, your allowance is 2 dollars so that means 20 cents.”

I can imagine that they’ll do the same thing with their kids, since it was done so with my brother-in-law by his parents.

Amy, Connar, and I flew to Virginia last night, and have been enjoying seeing her family. Flying with an infant usually isn’t too fun, especially when that infant is Connar. Connar is actually Gaelic for “hates to ride in car seats.” So naturally we weren’t looking forward to flying with him. However, he slept during take off, fed an hour later, and was great for the landing. We didn’t even have to get up and walk with him. Our prayers answered. I’m really hopeful now that he’ll like boats. We usually stay away from trains.

I did learn a valuable lesson yesterday evening though: know a little about who you’re talking to. Here’s what I mean. We let all of the other passengers get off the plane because we’re just so stinkin’ nice, and we had too much stuff to get down from the overhead bin.

So a tall African-American gentlemen was passing by me, waiting for someone else to remove his stuff. Since he was wearing a VCU jacket, I asked him if he was a coach. Then I asked him what it was like to work for Jeff Capel. He said, “I dont’ know, Jeff Capel is in Oklahoma.”

Incredibly embarrassed, and thinking it couldn’t get any worse, I followed with, “Who is the head coach?”

“I am,” he said.

“Well, what’s your name?”

“Anthony Grant.”

I felt like an idiot. Sports are something I probably know too much about. But this time not enough. I had completely forgotten that Jeff Capel had left a few years earlier. Coach Grant is beginning is third season at VCU.

Like Bono sang in Where the Streets Have No Name, “I want to run, I want to hide…” Not an option though. Next time I make small talk, I hope to think a little more…..

We had the opportunity on Monday night to see the Tampa Bay Rays battle their deep rivals, and until this year, thorn in their side (of course most every team was a thorn in their side), the Boston Red Sox. With a chance to really do some damage, the Rays gave up 11 runs in five innings before Amy, Connar, myself, and my in-laws called it a night. 11-1 just doesn’t make for good baseball. Although Connar didn’t mind, since he slept through most of the the drubbing.

Different teams fans have different reputations. Lately USF fans have been getting a bad rap, and deservedly so according to several reported instances and some of my “insiders.” Eagles’ fans have a tendency to get a little bit too rowdy, as evidenced by their (I don’t know if they have one at the new stadium) having an actual judge and court within the stadium. There probably is some objective difference in the levels of “annoying-ness” or “obnoxiousity,” though I haven’t developed anything to measure that. Yet.

But it is true that many fans of sports teams do much that goes against what that organization or school stands for. And yet when an outsider looks at that fan, he lumps the fan in with the team. And he/she will hate that team, simply because they don’t like the fan.

In reality, with some exceptions, I think I would probably like some of the Red Sox players. They are probably nothing like their fans.

I think the same thing goes with the church. People have had bad experiences with people in the church, and so they want nothing to do with it. But people can be swayed to pull for other teams, even those they didn’t grow up pulling for, provided their fans are winsome. I found myself pulling for the University of South Carolina because of a winsome South Carolina fan. I would NEVER have done that while living in South Carolina because of their fans. Never. But it only took one “contagious” fan to point me to them.

The same thing goes for the church. If people begin to have good experiences with those in the church, they’ll often give it another chance. If people begin to see good neighbors, those who are hospitable, those who are not arrogant, those who repent, those who are real, I think we’d be surprised that folks who were once Anti-church, might even be open to visit, or at least dialog. God uses such “good fans” to build His Church. “Annoying” fans have only one way to build the church: make babies. Certainly a way, but it can’t be the only way we seek to do it.

Well it’s the third game for the Bucs this Sunday. That means a few things, but primarily that means return of our DUI college rapist (allegedly) TE Jerramy Stevens. He’s coming off the two game suspension for the DUI. I think he had like a one game suspension last year. The Bucs cut another tight end to make room for him. We always have room for one more felon.

That’s one thing I miss about the Dungy era. The offense statistically has been almost exactly the same. Sad.

Honestly there is a place for Stevens in the church. He, just like me, can be made clean and whole. Paul reminds us in I Corinthians 6:

“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

But a football team is not a church. So it’s sad to say that we’ll see more folks like Stevens until we don’t see Gruden anymore.

I know this will embarrass my wife, but I did get her permission first. Today is her birthday, and like any good husband I asked her a few days ago, “What do you want for your birthday?”

I want a new bible. How about that? I got a good one, eh? I’m referring to my wife, not my bible, though that is also good.

Through her commitment to God’s Word, she challenges me to be more diligent in my time and study. Here’s a verse that popped into my head, and should probably pop up more often.

Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”

Of course she did request the leather one, (as opposed to the cheaper hardback) so that will be a bit more pricey. But she’s worth it. I got her the Spirit of the Reformation Study bible, which I highly recommend. It has great notes which have been very beneficial for me over the years. It’s always good to learn from people smarter than yourself.

Yesterday we had a legitimate Buc’s Party. Legitimate. Usually a Buc’s party includes myself, a sleeping Amy, and if I’m lucky, one other person. We had 11 this time, including Connar. Since Connar had not had a full night’s sleep for several days, neither had Amy. She was tired and not really in the mood to have a large crew over. It seemed like a big deal. But the kids provided the food and beverages.

In the end, as she and I always do, we had a blast. The youth stayed until 9 pm (game started at 4 pm), playing with Connar and giving us a little break. It seemed like a sacrifice to have people over. But it turned out to be quite a blessing. This is more often than not the case with hospitality. You sacrifice very little at the front end, but you sacrifice a lot of joy in the long run when you only practice hospitality when you feel like it.

Here’s a video of one of our youth entertaining Connar through his “b-boxing.” I think we’ve discovered our next great pacifier.

A woman at the gym (an older woman, just to make sure you know) asked me, “Didn’t you have a baby recently?” I told her that it was my wife who had the baby-and I think she knew that, because she had three herself-and how Connar was doing.

Then I asked her, the only Patriots fan I’ve ever met who is not annoying, “What do you think about the whole Tom Brady situation?” I picked him up in my fantasy football league this year with my first pick. Mistake number one, because he just tore his ACL and is out for the season. While I hate the Patriots, I also like to win. I was torn about Tom’s tear.

Apparently the coach, affectionately known as Bill “Belicheat” Belichik (because he got caught cheating), did something quite out of character. At least the character I notice from afar. Instead of bringing a big name back-up to compete for the job, he told everyone he would stick with their present back-up, now starter, QB Matt Cassell. The same Matt Cassell who hasn’t started A real game since high school. Seriously. No starts in college. Crazy.

His reasoning? Matt had enough pressure on him. Why make him fearful about losing his job? He has enough on his plate. Fear wouldn’t motivate him. Instead Bill felt the coach’s assurance would be enough motivation.

I think that is a great picture of the way God deals with us. Fear may work to motivate some folks in athletics, though it doesn’t seem to work for Coach Gruden (10 QB’s in 6 years). But it doesn’t move us forward in our faith. Fear has to do with punishment and condemnation. And Jesus has taken punishment and shame upon himself. Once for all. Blessed assurance is a better motivator. Thanks for reminding me Bill.

I led a brief devotion time last night at our session meeting on Jesus’ prayer for believers in John 17. I figured that we ought to look at how HE prayed for believers in order to better understand how WE as elders pray for those under our care. Some of Jesus’ prayer requests include the sanctification of believers, that they would be filled with His joy, they would see His glory, that they would be protected from temptation yet still be active in the world, and that they would be unified. The unity among believers, Jesus states, shows that the Father sent Him into the world.

The unity among believers displays the gospel to the world. The lack of unity obviously clouds this picture.

So we pondered briefly what unity would look like. If we pray, how should we expect to see that answered? Some of us thought churches might do outreach and mercy ministry together, pooling their resources. I thought perhaps unity would look like a common cross denominational vision (as opposed to simply a combined meeting or activity, though I’m not opposed to that per se) to love our neighbors, bless them and the community, and share the gospel.

One elder mentioned that some semblance of a unity does exist, and we need to more proactive in recognizing it, and delighting in it. I got to experience that this morning at Panera. Panera, pronounced improperly by some as “Panera’s,” seems to serve as a discipleship “hub.” Every time I meet someone there, I can see people praying, blessing their food, reading their bibles, and meeting with one another for encouragement, bible study, accountability, etc..

Today there were a few young men meeting together, and I eavesdropped (after I saw their bibles) enough to hear conversation which had to do with Christ.

Now if there is an outreach opportunity, I’m all for that. But usually when it’s Christians meeting, I let them be. Today, after I walked out of Panera, I felt convicted to go back in. So I went back, bluntly interrupted them, and met these two young gents. A youth pastor and college student. Conversation was short, but encouraging. I’ll probably see them there in a few weeks. At the very least it was an opportunity to see each other as brothers from different mothers, but with a common Heavenly Father. And an opportunity to embrace the unity, despite denominational differences.

This is the conclusion to the “secondary matters” posts. After you first see how clear and often things are presented in scripture, and then look at how the church over the years has understood something to be clear in scripture, you should then move on to the present. This is the THIRD and final step. I apologize for it being so long.

How has the Christian community within your denomination understood an issue? How have those outside your denomination or particular history (Baptistic, Reformed, Ana-Baptistic/Mennonite, etc…) or cultural background (Eastern, African-American, etc…) understood the scriptures to be speaking to certain matters? How have you personally, in your experiences, in your personal time of study, in your reflections understood the scriptures to be speaking to the issue?

The degree to which you find greater agreement among the steps should affect your certainty. The greater the agreement, the greater the certainty. And vice versa.

As you interact with your personal experiences, denominational understanding, those outside your theological/cultural camp you will find some universally held beliefs. Things like the Apostle’s Creed. If people want to argue about Jesus’ real resurrection from the dead, or whether or not He’s essentially the same as Allah, or Shiva the Destroyer (Hinduism), then you ought to “contend for the faith.”

Then there are issues which I believe the scriptures clearly teach regarding God’s ultimate sovereignty and baptism, which I hold to a high (not highest) degree of certainty. So I’m going to pastor or join a church with those things in mind. However if there is no such church with those standards in my area (speaking as if I weren’t a pastor), I will look for one that aligns itself with my highest degree of certainty: Apostles Creed. There are many folks who don’t think I should have had Connar baptized. And they would probably re-baptize them if they could. However, I still learn from folks like John Piper (Reformed Baptist), Mark Driscoll (Reformed non-denominatonal “baptistic”) and Don Miller (not Reformed at all).

For folks like these, I can enter into a dialog with them. But neither will probably convince the other, and that’s fine. No big deal. Scripture just isn’t as clear as we would like to think on these issues. Even though that pains me to say!

And even within denominations there are areas which need to be revisited and thought through today. So that they are as scriptural as possible. For instance, in my denomination, the role of women. Should they be deacons? I personally think so, but I’m submitting myself to the larger body. However, that doesn’t mean that this will always be the case, nor should it always be the case. There is debate and dialog going on. And it is being done with these steps in mind, with people smarter than myself (Tim Keller leading the pro-side). So the stance could change someday.

Finally, there are individual convictions and interpretations of scripture which need to have all three steps in mind. Something that may seem so clear to you could perhaps be due to your past, the way your family did things, the way your church did things, your friends, your enemies, your political party, your socio-economic standing, your exposure or lack thereof to good training, etc..We all need to recognize that we have certain biases which we bring to the scriptures. Some helpful. Some quite harmful. That’s why it is SO important to limit these biases with the help of the church over the years and the wider Christian community today. For these issues, dialog is fine. Personal conviction in these areas is fine. But trying to force these on others, judgment, harassment, isolation, arrogance that YOU hold the key interpretation and application is not Christianity. It’s more gnostic (secret knowledge God gives to an enlightened few) than anything.

We need to keep in mind that even the Reformers who broke away from the Catholic church looked to those before them for their interpretations of scripture. Augustine believed in salvation by grace through faith before Luther, Calvin, Zwingli. And John Huss, said it a 100 years before all of them. And while not perfect examples of fellowship, they all interacted with their contemporaries, in addition to their personal studies. Unfortunately some of their convictions did sourly affect and limit their fellowship as things with lesser clarity were held with higher certainty (view of Lord’s Supper). So the next time you think you’ve discovered an interpretation and application that no one, or only a few have discovered in 2000 years, think again. You’re most likely wrong. In the slight chance you’re not, keep it personal and gracious when you dialog with others.

Tampa Bay Rays mania may start to dwindle very soon. With only 20 games left in the regular season, they are only up one and half games against the evil Red Sox. Most people are just hoping for a Wild Card shot. That seems more likely since they haven’t scored A run in two games. But at least we’ll be there for one game to root for the home team. One game, but four tickets though.