I just returned from an interesting experience in San Francisco. My cousin got married to a Muslim lass named Fatima.

To say I felt precarious the whole time would have to be the understatement of the year. I didn’t know exactly how to act, disapproving of the marriage itself, and yet hoping to somehow not destroy the relationship (I’m the only pastor in the family; maybe one day he’ll seek pastoral advice from me and not the presbyterian pastor who assisted in the ceremony). At least I can hope.

But since I was not excited about the marriage, it was hard to feign positive emotions. Sometimes I can act, but most of the time I can’t. Probably the best word to describe my experience is “vertigo.”

U2 sang a song called “Vertigo” reflecting on the difficulty of living out your faith among non Christians. Difficult, but we are called to do it. Unfortunately many Christians isolate themselves and never have to deal with “vertigo.” They then forfeit a great experience of dependence and humility. But ‘vertigo’ makes our fellowship that much greater, sweeter, and deeper. When I came to church the next day, it was an even greater blessing than usual.

Although I have to admit during the trip, I had fellowship with my family and some extended family members which helped with the “vertigo” experience. While U2 probably ought to spend some more time in fellowship with believers, many others probably need to experience ‘vertigo’ more often. But I recommend it in smaller doses and in far different circumstances.

On Friday I ate a whole calzone. That’s not abnormal for me. I’ve been known to polish off whole calzones without much of a thought of bringing the other half home. And there’s nothing wrong with that. A calzone is a beautiful thing to be consumed.

But the problem with this dinner trip was that we had already ordered garlic bread before the meal came. So I wasn’t as hungry. I could have easily stopped eating. I was full. I was content. But I simply wanted more, so I ate. And then I felt bad the whole night. I was a glutton.

Gluttony is not mentioned much in the bible (certainly not enough for it to crack the Catholic top 7 list!). Jesus was accused of being a glutton and drunkard because he hung out with gluttons and drunkards. Gluttony is mentioned negatively in Proverbs 23 as leading to poverty. Other than these specific references, we don’t find the word too often.

But what about the concept? Is the concept of gluttony (unnecessary over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste or lack of self control) really all that biblical? Is it really a sin to be conscious of?

I once heard someone say, “You can be addicted to food, just like pornography.” I thought that was ludicrous. Sin is a hard enough battle; don’t invent new ones with which struggle. But the other day someone confessed to a large group of people, “Seven years ago, I would have joined you on that run. But now I’ve gained so much weight and that isn’t an option. I’ve worshiped the idol of food, and indulged in it.”

Fortunately my metabolism is probably faster than this guy’s (and I do work out with weights-though I’m not sure that will do anything about my mini-gut), but I could probably confess the same thing. Although I don’t not run because I’m physically unable; like Seinfeld once said simply and confidently, “I choose not to run.”

Looking back on my life, let me show you how I think this sin has manifested itself. I don’t have self control in eating things. If its there, I eat it. All of it. I don’t like to share food. Ever. I’m like a dog eating at his bowl. Do not disturb him, or me.

While gluttony is not mentioned that much, issues of self control certainly ought to concern us. God’s grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness, and enables us to live self controlled lives (Titus 2:11-12). So I think I’m going to rely on God’s grace to encourage, forgive, and challenge me while at the dinner table more often.

BTW, this post really has no real intentional connection to Thanksgiving. It was just on my heart, and stomach, I guess you could say. But its proximity to a Thanksgiving feast does seem apropos, if not at the very least unsettling!

In case you don’t know yet, Amy and I are going to have a baby. Well, actually, Amy will be the one ‘having it’ (if you want to get technical), but I’ll be there in the room for moral support.

Regardless, I’ve been amazed at the ‘baby process.’ Its absolutely crazy. We had our 2nd doctor’s visit last Friday, and we got to hear the heartbeat. I think the count was like 158 beats a minute. A little fast more my liking, but the lady (I can’t remember if it was a nurse, doctor, midwife, other person-there’s so many folks coming in and out that I get confused) said that was plenty normal.
One thing that I’m amazed about is all the ‘thought process’ that goes into the whole gestation, or whatever you call it, thing. I mean its amazing that at 13 weeks, something forms, at 15 weeks, something else, and so on. You can tell I’m well read on the matter. That’s one thing I need to be better at.

But its so cool how the body ‘knows’ what to do, and how it all works. Amazing. I know I’m biased, being a Christian and all, but this whole baby thing ought to make one rethink Atheism or evolution. Like I said, anyone who is a Christian has a bias, and anyone who is a non-Christian also has a bias. We are looking at facts from differing point of views, which makes us arrive at different conclusions.

Nevertheless, it seems much harder to believe that this whole process comes about by mutation and chance. Its just too amazing, complex, and interdependent. While the ancients knew little of the development of babies in wombs, David’s claim in Psalm 139 divulges he at least knew God had a part in it: “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well.” 139:14-15

In our short experience together, Amy and I would echo his sentiments.

Last Friday night, Amy and I watched the first 10 minutes of Reign Over Me. After she fell asleep, I watched the last hour and a half of of the movie.
In case you’re not familiar with it, it features Don Cheadle (Hotel Rwanda) and Adam Sandler. I’m becoming a huge Don Cheadle fan these days.

Adam Sandler’s character’s family dies in the 911 crash, and he is emotionally unable to continue his dentist practice. Don Cheadle hasn’t seen him in years, and finds him in this state. Much of the depicts this overwhelming relationship.

But there’s more than just that relationship. By the end of the movie, I think it portrayed a realistic and hopeful picture of marriage. Cheadle’s character (like all dudes) desires to have hobbies of his own (this is not bad in itself). More than that, he feels suffocated from his wife’s desire to do things like puzzles and photography classes together. And of course like most lads, he remains silent in his frustrations.

Well, in walks his friend who needs help, and Cheadle spends most of his waking hours with Sandler. In other words, he runs. That’s what guys do: we run. When there are problems with marriage, we want to find anything to which we can run. Since Cheadle doesn’t have any hobbies, he throws himself into this relationship hoping to help Sandler. In part, that’s admirable.

But he does so to the neglect of his family. In addition, I think there’s a secondary motivation going on. It’s easier. It’s easier to run to anything outside, be it a friend, hobby, beer, etc…, than to deal honestly with your marriage and family. It just is. And guys are notorious for it. And this movie captures it very well.

By the end, Cheadle begins to see his own errors, his own selfishness, and his own dishonesty. He apologizes and the two come together. And so overall, we see an accurate, and redeeming picture of marriage. By the way, don’t NOT see it because of Sandler. He’s really quite amazing in this movie.

I talked with one of my seminary buddies the other day to tell him that Amy is pregnant. That’s about how my ‘keeping up’ has been lately. My college buddies and I only talk to each other when one (or rather one of our wives-although we each only have one- is pregnant).

He mentioned to me some of the frustrations of being in a denomination with which he wasn’t ‘on board.’ He’s hoping to make the jump to a non-denominational church somewhere, some time. However, he did really long for the connectionalism that presbyterianism offers, and lamented there was not nearly such a defined ‘network’ in the non-denom community.

Independent churches (baptist) and non-denominational churches don’t have the connectionalism offered in the presbyterian form of church government. And it is clear that they long for that. That is why they form networks and ‘conventions’ (Baptists) or associations. There’s no doubt in my mind (and probably in others’ minds) the presbyterian/connectional form is the most biblical. I think the argument lies in whether or not that model was meant to be normal for all times. I think that’s the question.

But existentially (experientially), it also makes the most sense. People long to connect. The problem with many is that they long to connect, but don’t want to commit or be held accountable. That’s where I feel the presbyterian form makes the most sense. If we look at our own hearts, we cannot help but be honest and admit we need accountability.

And certainly others do as well. If a pastor is being a bum, we as the presbytery have the responsibility keep that bum accountable. I’m not a presbyterian Nazi, attempting to ‘convert’ everyone. I’m really not. It just seems that if you think about our needs for connection and accountability, it just makes sense.

I love GOING to presbytery meetings to connect, network, meet, establish, and nurture friendships. I often hate SITTING through them because they are extremely inefficient. But I’ll still defend our need to meet together quarterly, even though we can do in 3 hours what it takes us 8 to do!

Perhaps if everyone was a pragmatic as myself, we’d lose something. I have to tell myself that at least, or I’ll go crazy.

I hate ‘bandwagon things.’ I hate bandwagon baseball teams (Braves in the 90’s), bandwagon basketball teams and players-though its nothing personal-(Chicago Bulls in the 90’s and Michael Jordan). But sometimes I succumb. For instance, like a bagillion other folks, I got a ‘facebook.’ If you don’t know what that is, ask someone that is in between the ages of 15-29.

But in case you’re too stubborn to do so, Facebook is an online way to post things, activities, pictures about yourself in a way that is easy to network, find, and keep up with others doing the same thing.

As I clicked on one of my former youth (during the dog days of Clinton, SC 99-02), I noticed several of his ‘friends’ pictures and profiles (or contacts to the laymen). One girl was dressed provocatively like “Catwoman.” Just a picture, but a picture is often worth more than a 1000 words. Pictures of people partying or scantily dressed usually reveals something much deeper: a lifestyle in search of something outside Christ.

In addition, I thought about some other things that were posted on a few other of my former youth’s profiles and I began to wonder. Did I totally waste my time there? After all, I had a molester, a killer (though in self defense, after I left), and several who professed faith and then turned away. And I didn’t have a large group.

Certainly I wasn’t perfect there. I should have probably been fired for attempting the live mouse toss, and for several (that’s being conservative) other things.

But I guess with all ministry (not just youth) one has to go back to Jesus’ parable of the Seed and the Sower (Matt 13). Not all seed grows up to produce fruit. Some receive the message with joy but fall away due to tribulation or love of the world. But some seed does fall on good soil and produces fruit.

My responsibility lies in sowing. I can’t produce fruit for myself, much less someone else!
I did sow there. Not perfectly, but I did sow.

As I look back, some seed did produce fruit; others didn’t. At least for the time being. But all may not be lost. They may return one day. Hopefully.

There’s probably nothing more gratifying to a preacher to hear that someone actually remembers what you say, teach, or preach. While talking with by best bud late last week, he informed me that one of our (at the time we were both involved in the same ministry) college students spoke to him about distinctly remembering two ‘talks’ I gave.

One was a ‘talk’ centered around a U2 song called “Still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” In the song, Bono claims to know Christ, and to know Christ “carried the cross of my shame….you know I believe it….” However, it feels like there is something more. Perhaps he’s missed something?

My point was that those who know “Christ has carried the cross of our shame” still feel like we are missing something. But is not that Christ is insufficient, but that until we get to heaven we experience “groans like in the pains of childbirth (Rom 8:22)”

Everybody groans. All creation, or as R.E.M. put it, “Everybody hurts.” Not just Christians.
Life is not all that we would like it to be. We don’t experience the full glory and full joy of Christ while here on Earth. Our best life is NOT NOW (contra Joel O.)

However, we have been given the first fruits (first installment of what is to come in the Holy Spirit) even now-says Romans 8:23.

And so about 10 years or so later, Bono wrote a song called “Yahweh.” In it he laments, “Why the pain before the child is born?” But now he’s come back to Jesus, and has reflected. And so he offers his hands, and his heart BACK to Christ as he did earlier in his career as recorded in “Gloria.”

This was supposed to be a blog about somebody remembering what I taught, but it turned into an explication of the joy and difficulty of living between Christ’s First and Second Comings. Sorry about that. I guess you get double the info for today.

When I went to Furman University, I lived in Freshmen dorms for the first three years. I did so primarily for ministry purposes. Being a sophomore and junior on a freshmen hall put me in a position to be able to build relationships and eventually share the gospel with young lads and lead bible studies.

But as I look back, I never really felt like a made a sacrifice. After all, at least for my sophomore year, the only alternative was the infamous ‘sophomore’ dorms. In the freshmen dorms, the doors are ALWAYS open. People are constantly coming in and out. They’re new. They don’t already have relationships and are always open and looking.

On the contrary, if you were to walk through the halls of ‘sophomore dorms,’ you’d find doors which were ALWAYS closed. Their relationships have already been formed. They don’t feel any need to keep their doors open to their neighbors.

Some neighborhoods are like freshmen dorms. While their doors are not literally open, their garages are, or they are out in the yards, etc…They are looking for relationships actively or are willing for new folks to come to them.

However most neighborhoods are like sophomore dorms. Garages go up, cars go in, garage doors go down, and people go inside.

So then should we not seek relationships within our sophomoric neighborhoods? No. Building community where there is little or none is a tiresome, prayerful effort. While difficult, it is not impossible. It takes small strides, big prayer, and a little faith. But a little goes a long way. Even when dealing with sophomores (which literally means ‘wise fool!’)

Our neighborhood cookout was really quite a success. In a small 21 house subdivision, we had participation from 9 different households! I couldn’t have been happier.

It all worked out well, and we had tons of food (and good food at that) and were able to actually meet some new people. One of them actually liked to fish, so I look forward to getting out on the kayaks with him some time soon.

There are actually a number of couples in their early 30’s with kids on our block now. We’ll be among that elite crowd eventually. I can’t wait.

All in all, I recommend any such endeavor. Even when our cookouts were not well attended (3-5 households) it was a great way to get to know our immediate neighbors. This was our 4th, and definitely won’t be our last. And by the way, we had fun. So that helps as well. If you prayed for us, thanks.

Last night I knocked on a few more doors, and eventually got one more couple to come on Saturday to our cookout. I really think that these neighborhood cookouts (or any neighborhood activity) really honors God.

If we are created for community, than doing anything which builds community, even if there is never the slightest mention of Jesus or church, is a good thing. It honors God as we try to put aside our solitary existences to a more communal and relational way of living. The picture we get of heaven is of great multitudes worshiping; there will be no solitary living. So doing anything which promotes community is really furthering God’s Kingdom on Earth (which is essentially bringing what’s already present in heaven now, down to earth).

With some there is great excitement. With others there is great inertia. Right now we’re at 7-8 households participating. But even if it were just the houses on my cul de sac coming, I still think it would be a good thing. Heaven is not a place on Earth as Belinda Carlysle sang in the 80’s. However, she wasn’t totally sans truth.

Heaven will one day be a place on Earth (Rev 20), and our participation in Christ’s mission brings a little bit of heaven down to Earth. As we live out our faith in the community we’ve been placed, God’s Kingdom/reign/will moves forward. And heaven becomes a little more visible on Earth.