“They” say that you learn a lot about God’s love for His children when you have a kid of your own. Not that if you don’t have kids, you will somehow have an inferior picture or experience of God’s love for you (Paul didn’t have kids and he knew a decent bit about God’s love, eh?), but I would definitely say I’ve learned a lot about God’s love for me.
When Connar came out, I actually cried. For a few seconds. Twice. I usually only cry in sad movies, when I’m depressed. But the overwhelming emotional response was part in due to the fact that this day had FINALLY come, coupled with the fact that this was my son. I was already a parent in some sense of the word, but I hadn’t laid eyes upon my little one. It’s one of those indescribeable things. All parents probably feel this way. I’ve seen it with parents who adopt as well.
I know someone who adopted a little girl from China, and then they tried to take her away, because her health wasn’t up to par. But the Mom wouldn’t let that happen. She had already placed her love on the child and did not want another. In the words of a great Hymn it was a picture of “O Love that will not let me go…”
When I got home from the hospital I just couldn’t believe how much I loved this kid. Changing diapers really hasn’t been that bad (I know the real smell comes later, but still, I had never change a single one before!). My love has been placed upon him. And while its not perfect, it is definitely a gracious love (until he can smile back) that brings delight to my heart.
So now I’m a step closer in plumbing the infinite depths of the love and delight God places on His children via Connar’s arrival.
I’ve got some more pics I’ll be putting up soon. It still amazes me that people (outside my family) are so interested in seeing pictures of our little one. I guess it gives me a snippet of the love God’s people have for covenant kids. But that’s another topic all together.
Isn’t it amazing? And, being in the mommy-years for awhile now has given me such an interesting perspective on. . . anything!. . . that I learn. You know you’re really putting things through the mommy-filter when you read a Charles Hodge commentary and see practical parenting applications!Each year that passes, though, I’m appreciating my own parents more and grasping what my Mom meant when she said so much of parenting is done on our knees.