Our church had a bible conference yesterday. I’m sure everyone has an image of “bible conference” in their minds, so I don’t know what you envision when you read that. Basically some dude name Bill Mills from Leadership Resources came and spoke on “Living in the Father’s Blessing” for a few hours over 3 sessions.

He touched upon a number of different passages (we were flipping pages like IHOP flips pancakes), but camped out briefly on Psalm 91. What did this Psalm really mean? In case you’re not familiar with Psalm 91 (easily my top 3-and where I turn when anxiety hits), we find some lofty promises recorded there: no disaster will befall, protection from the “fowler’s snare,” only observing the destruction of the wicked, to name a few.

But what did this mean for an actual soldier? A soldier’s mother? That he would return home?
Bill told a story of a son who didn’t. In fact he was the only one in his company who died and just a few weeks before he was supposed to return.

Where was this blessing, this refuge, this shelter, these lofty promises? Could they be taken literally, seriously, or simply as the best option among others? The day before the young man was killed, he requested one of his commanding officers to print out his personal testimony of how he trusted in Christ. It was read in their chapel service the morning he died. Everyone was moved and his story was shared, and people even came to know Jesus at his memorial service.

To be shielded/blessed does not mean to be showered with health and wealth. To be shielded, blessed, protected, ultimately means that we WILL experience the full glory which God has prepared for us one day. We experience it in part now, but not in full.

Bill shared a number of stories, almost all of them being ‘sad’ stories. And they were hard to hear-pastors losing kids to Islamic terrorists, a newlywed dying of cancer, and even the recent loss of his sister. I actually almost cried 3 times, but ‘held’ myself together. It reminded me that life is precious, sweet, but short; nevertheless-everything pales in comparison with the glory He has reserved for His children. This is a deeper blessing. That’s what Romans 8:18-ff says.

But even now I can live with the blessing of the promise of God’s approval, of a partial experience of glory, and the comfort that He is Good and He is Powerful. These are what Bill called our “shoulders.” Everything happens in between these two shoulders. The Why we don’t often get, but at least we know The Who (and I’m not talking about the band). And to quote Aaron Neville, “that may be all I need to know.”

Our last community group someone invited a neighborhood couple to come and participate. It wasn’t their first time in the house: they came to a potluck community group dinner two weeks before. This was my dream come true: visitors feeling welcome in a community group setting, even before they come (or even think about coming) to church.

Our group did a good job of making them feel welcome during our hang out time beforehand. So the first concern would they feel welcome? was answered. But what about the common objection would their presence make the group less intimate? That could only be answered through the actual experience of in depth, personally interactive bible study.

Well, we had our most in depth, honest, intimate, repentant study so far! People were actually confessing their own idols at the end of our time. I can’t tell you what they are (besides mine being Respect from others) due to our Las Vegas style community group confidentiality clause-what is said in comm group, stays in comm group. Even one of the visitors actually joined in confession.

When visitors from the outside see an honest struggling person who has the freedom to express/confess, they will eventually express that “God is really among you!” (I Cor 14:25). It need not make the group less honest, provided the environment already is an honest environment. At the very least, visitors will see that Christians, or at least Christians from this church are not as weird as seen on TV (either through TBN or sitcoms) . At the most, they may someday confess that God really is at work here.

The Rev. Al Sharpton (I’m not totally sure how he gets that title), in my opinion, plays the race card in places it shouldn’t be played. And it is not just me who gets tired of him being the black spokesman, but a number in the black community do not feel he often helps their cause (says Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star).

And so when he came on TV this morning, I rolled my eyes, and said, “Oh boy, what’s he going to say now?” Well, he actually had some good things to say. He didn’t affirm that the beatings that these young black men gave the white lad were a good thing. But to call it attempted murder? Was that not race motivated?

He raised another point about the hanging of the nooses a year ago. Why was this not considered a hate crime to be tried? To say that race has nothing to do with anything here is obviously not the case.

I guess what I learned is that even though people cry ‘wolf’ (in my opinion) when there is no wolf, sometimes there just might be a wolf. So I probably need to hear people out better, even though I’ve disagreed with them in the past. Who knows, they may be right, even if only on occasion or blue moon.

I read an interesting article today in Christianity Today, called “Attack Dogs of Christendom.” Prominent Atheist Sam Harris wrote a bestseller called The End of Faith in support of his claims, and received some extremely hostile messages. Most unfortunately, but not surprisingly, came from Christians, not Muslims!

Even more unfortunately the article chronicled further scathing rebukes against prominent evangelical leaders. Now I must say, regarding some of the names mentioned, I would have a problem reading their books, or honestly, believing what they teach. But the acidic reviews via websites regarding such leaders really exposes a lack of grace, and frankly, a lack of scriptural understanding. If Peter instructs us to be prepared to give a defense for the hope that we have, but to do it, with “gentleness and respect,” (I Peter 3:15-17), then I believe that is probably what God means.

Now I often struggle with both, but I have to affirm both and repent when I don’t. The goal is that outsiders would see our character and be put to shame. Do they? I think some names mentioned like Joel Osteen and Pat Robertson (those being bashed by the websites referenced in the article) are often wrong in their claims. However, I can respond to them without calling them names like “whitewashed tombs,” and “one of the greatest deceivers in the church world today.” Some campus minister from RUF at USF actually posted a gentle, respectful response to what Joel Osteen’s Your Best Life Now. The writer disagreed CLEARLY, and gave support for his disagreement, but did not resort to name calling. He even commended that which was commendable, and did that first.

Those who choose the “Attack Dog” route (as the article refers) often inadvertently put themselves to shame, rather than the other way around. If you want to read the article from Christianity Today (and its really short!), here it is. You can also check out what I believe to be an example of a gentle, respectful, but disagreeing critique, and here that is.

“When repentance becomes a constant, recognizable part in an environment, the people in that culture experience freedom they never knew. They have amazing stories to tell. The truth always sets us free. Free to love God and others, free to trust even more truth, free to heal and reconcile…..” TrueFaced, pg 111

As mentioned in a previous entry, I’m reading a book right now called TrueFaced. One of the points the dudes (there’s 3 of them) makes is that repentance is really not just a private enterprise. However we often think of it in private terms-unless we need to apologize personally to someone. When I googled images of repentance, all were simply individual pictures.

Even though it’s often ‘easier’ in the short term to repent privately, this activity can sometimes reveal a concern to keep up good appearances before others. If we never share our repentant hearts with others, or repent before them, we will ‘look’ a whole lot better. But will we be free from needing their approval, or simply continuing in our slavery under it?

However when repentance becomes an activity done also in community (as it’s instructed in James 5), you will begin to live out the truth that Christ’s approval is far more important than approval from others. And they in turn will see it as well, and experience it with you. So you can see that keeping our repentance and failures private can actually retard the experience of freedom in not only ourselves, but in the lives of others within our church communities.

Well it looks like your friend and mine O.J. is in a bit of hot water again. Apparently he broke and entered in hopes of recapturing some stolen memorabilia. I don’t know if I’m supposed to say “allegedly” or not, because there is a tape with The Juice ordering and threatening some hapless fellow.

It is clear that OJ is not a model citizen, and periodically makes news for his not being ‘model.’ If every you ever think that the world is ‘fair,’ and all is as it should be, just take a look at The Juice. The man, with a documented temper and history of violence, was completely acquitted from the charges of double murder. He’s since proved that jury incompetent and his lawyers incredibly ‘brilliant.’

I wonder what it would be like to be the parents and family or friends of his victims. To have this man who killed your loved ones, walking around freely as though he were totally innocent? Can you imagine the difficulty of not living everyday in helpless anger? I would imagine it would be very difficult. I can only imagine.

Ultimately I know this world is still plagued with the nasty presence of sin. And until its done away with, we will see more from The Juice and others. But I have to believe that in the cross, Jesus is reconciling the world to Himself. I either believe that God has done/is doing/will do something about the evil in this world, or He could care less. Either I have the cross, or I have unbridled anger and frustration and despair. I’m not a family or friend of his victims and it still angers the heck out of me.

But even with the cross, we still “groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for the our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:23). At least I know I do. Groaning is hopeful; disillusionment is not. If we don’t groan, perhaps we need to draw more nearly to those who do. They are not hard to find.

On Good Morning America this morning, they had a family with sextuplets, in addition to 4 other kids. I caught the tail end of the special which talked about the possible side effects (5 more kids than planned, and one had Cerebral Palsy) of fertility meds.

Diane Sawyer posed this quite pragmatic question: “Did you ever think about eliminating several of the embryo’s?”

The husband’s response was far more profound: “Which of these kids would you not want to be here? I can’t pick one.” The wife especially affirmed the life of the young girl with CP: “She’s my little bundle of joy.” Just an example where pragmatic convenience is trumped by the fact that we are made in the image of God and have a latent dignity.

Pragmatism is a philosophical system that equates what is most practical with what is right to do. Obviously practicality is not a bad thing. But at times what God’s Word says conflicts with what we deem most practical. Therein lies the dangerous point of intersection. Everything from abortion, to enabling, to stealing (in its very subtle forms) often gets viewed through the lens of pragmatism. Being incredibly pragmatic myself (obviously not to this degree!), I do need to take pains in subjecting my practicality to Christ’s lordship.

As a result of one of our elder’s initiative, creativity, and drive, we will be continuing our Food For Thought Series this Fall. While last Spring we tackled the issue of work, we’re trying to take on an even bigger, and far more monstrous foe this year: Racism.

Due to our area of study this year, Randy advised me to familiarize myself somewhat with what our denomination (PCA) says about this issue. Of course nothing written, spoken, or done by a Presbyterian has ever been short; the paper is about 30 pages long.

But in the brief time I’ve had with the position paper, I’ve already been exposed to the fact that racism is certainly far worse than I originally thought. How many of the 10 commandments would you say that racism breaks? Interestingly enough, the writers, often borrowing from the Westminster Confessions, argue that racism actually breaks 3 of the biblical “Top Ten.” So here they are in their own words; they write gooder than me.

Commandment #1 Racism is idolatry-You shall have no other gods before me.
“Racism grounds the identity and security of human life not in God who alone is our Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier, but in self-a creature-and therefore an idol.”

Commandment #6 Racism is murder-You shall not kill
“Hating your brother is a violation of the commandment, as is vile mockery of another and unexpressed hateful heart attitudes….The 6th commandment is not only violated in the extremes of anger, hatred, envy, desire for revenge, but also violated in the omission of charitable thoughts, love, compassion, the unwillingness to be reconciled and the failure to forgive injuries-to any or all of which we may easily succumb to based on how we view persons of another race.”

Commandment #9 Racism is lying. The ninth commandment requires the maintaining and promoting of truth between man and man, and of our own neighbor’s good name, especially in witness bearing. The ninth commandment forbids whatsoever is prejudicial to truth, or injurious to our own or our neighbor’s good name.

I guess I never really thought of Racism as lying. But I really do think it is. Even if I don’t tell, or speak that falsehood to anyone. If I harbor racial biases that just aren’t true, than I’m guilty of harboring that lie. Kind of like harboring a guilty fugitive. And that’s not good or safe for anyone. Everyone has his/her own prejudices that he/she hold on to. Since we’ve been preparing for this lunch series, I’ve been made more aware of my own.

Over the weekend, Amy and I took in a profound and thought provoking flick: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The prices at the dollar theater have increased by 25 cents, so it’s now totally improper to refer to it as “The Dollar Theater.” It shall hence be called “The Two Dollar Theater” from now on (although I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to keep that up.)

If you thought this movie might have had a subtle pro-gay marriage agenda, you would be totally wrong. It was about as subtle as wasabi. There were certainly some funny scenes, and with 2 dollar a head cover charge, I seldom walk out disappointed. And I didn’t. But was there any ‘redeeming’ value about the movie? Of course.

Certainly I did struggle with some of the flambouyant gayness, and clearly pro-gay agenda with the movie. But another scene bothered me a bit more.

As the gay folk were leaving their ‘gayla’ (sorry I had to) they were accosted by Christian protesters shouting “Gay is not God’s way!” They were depicted as heartless, and even a pastor called Adam Sandler’s character a “faggot.” He was shortly punched in the face, and rightly so.

It frustrates me that Christians get represented on the Silver Screen in such a negative light. I’m criticized if I stereotype, even though Christians are usually criticized and stereotyped in this way. Oh well, I’ll get over it. I’m not condemned because of Jesus, so it really should matter if opponents don’t play fair.

It frustrates me even more to realize that this caricature is accurate in some, or perhaps many cases. But shouting the truth in hate is far different than speaking the truth in love. Whether Christians like it or not, we are often seen as those shouting protesters (with some exceptions like in MS and LA where the church is doing the recovery work). Most folks will not listen to what you have to say unless you hear what they have to say first. And that’s OK. It takes time, relationships, hospitality to break down barriers others (or we) have erected for us.

Most of us tend to either skimp on truth, or skimp on love. Which one do you tend to skimp on? I flip-flop. But if we reflect upon the gospel, we become more truthful and more loving than anyone out there. It may not put us on the Silver Screen, but it will get our Savior heard by more needy and hurting people.

I guess that the best sign of a good retreat is that you’re still thinking about what’s been said on Monday morning. Even better if Tuesday, and so on..

Well today, as I was reading my bible and reflecting upon my anger, I felt the need to reflect upon the question behind the issue: why? Why am I so obsessed with certain things, and certain responses from people? Well, the Holy Spirit informed me quite loudly-though not audibly-exactly what it was.

What Rodney Dangerfield complained about and what Aretha Franklin sang about: Respect. It’s not that I desire everyone to like me. I really don’t think that’s the case. I don’t ‘need’ you to like me; I ‘need’ you to respect me. Maybe I’m more Machiavellian than I would like to admit. Not so much your love, but your respect. That’s what I feel like I’ve really been seeking. You can disagree with me, and even dislike me, but please don’t disrespect me! I looked back over my years of ministry experience, and that’s been one of my main struggles.

Just confessing that to Christ this morning, and cyber-confessing this to you frees me and moves me down a path to recovery. I can’t complain about the same thing that Rodney complained about: the ultimate sign of respect is that of someone dying in my place. That’s respect. That’s respect and love. Can you beat that? So after confessing and taking one look at my sin, I need at least 10 looks at the cross. Believing is harder than it looks.